“You know I’ll take my heart clean apart
If it helps yours beat”~ “Atlas: Two” by Sleeping at Last
This morning, I came downstairs to hear my mom listening to Sleeping at Last. I love him, but was curious why my mom had chosen to listen to him because it was not her usual music choice. She mentioned that she was attempting to figure out her Enneagram type and had found out Sleeping at Last had written a song for each of the types (apparently with the exception of eight and nine for now).
The Enneagram is a model of the human psyche. It is made up of nine interconnecting personality types. (If you haven’t taken the Enneagram test, I HIGHLY recommend doing so.) Supposedly, it is one of the most accurate and in-depth personality tests that exists. About a month ago, I tested and was typed as a Two, or the Helper. I kind of skimmed through the description, not seeing anything mind-blowing and wondering if I had been typed correctly.
This morning, after hearing about the songs, I was curious and looked up the song for my type. (If you want to find the song for yours, just look up “Atlas:” followed by your number typed out. For example, mine was “Atlas: Two”.) As soon as I heard the first few lines in the song, I had chills. A little further into the song, I was in tears. Every. word. was so accurate.
I listened to the song on repeat for the next thirty minutes. God really used the song to speak to me. He showed me some new things about myself and the way I function – my deepest fears and greatest desires, his love for me, and how these new pieces fit together in the puzzle of my life.
Later, I sat down and read through the description of my type again. This time, I was able to understand and I could see how perfectly the type fit with the way I operate. I received clarity about parts of myself from my biggest struggles to my eating habits (I know it sounds weird, but it’s true).
As I listened to the song again this afternoon, I heard God say “darling, you have my heart”.
One of the most noticeable things about a Two is the way they love people. We love with everything we have. This can sometimes end up being destructive, though, because we also have a tendency to ignore our own needs because we are so focused on other people.
In addition, one of our deepest desires is to be loved.
When the Father spoke to me today and told me that I have his heart, this was significant to me in two different ways. The first was in understanding that he built me and designed me to love others the way that he has. He has given me a heart that was created to love others – everyone – unconditionally.
As I read through some of the other types I noticed the way he has designed each type to reflect a different part of him. Each of us has been created to reflect him, and each of us has been given a specific gifting that helps us reflect a certain part of him. When we join together as the church, or the body of Christ, we bring these vital pieces with us. Together, we create something magnificent. His design is so perfect.
The second thing that I understood from what he told me is that he loves me so beyond what I understand. In an even greater way than I give my heart to others, he has given his to me. My deepest desire it to be fully loved, and my deepest desire has been met.
I am fully loved.
I think for years I have known that the Father loves me. His word declares it to no end. But even still, despite knowing this and even experiencing his love in the past, I have continued searching for love in other places. Today, I got a chance to understand that the love I want is available and waiting for me. There is more.
Now, I get to discover it.